Snow Ride
by Sutaahiiraa
Summary: It's the final stretch of the Liberty Ride, but Brian isn't sure if he can make it... Someone makes him, however. BJ


**Snow Ride**

By: Kate Walsh

He wasn't sure where he was. Canada, Pittsburgh…somewhere in between? He didn't know, he stopped reading the road signs hours ago. Well… They felt like hours, maybe it was only minutes. It seemed as though time stopped the moment he got back on that bike and declared that he'd go through with it anyway.

_Have I mentioned that it hurts like a motherfucker?_ Maybe he should mention it again.

Michael had joined him, riding slowly beside him as moral support, telling him that he didn't have to finish, he could stop anytime, he'd proved himself enough; But no, not enough – only enough when he passed that finish line.

Maybe he really had had enough… Maybe he had proved himself enough already. His body was tired, pain-filled, each breath showing him that even more. It hurt to breathe; every time he did he felt a rush of cold air enter his body, disagreeing with the pain that he was already dealing with. Pain and fatigue. Fuck, maybe he was stupid.

Stupid and crazy, because there he was again. Justin. Justin running alongside him, cheering him on with that sunshine smile on his lips, tint of pink on his face. That was the third time Brian saw him, heard him yelling not to give up, to keep trying…

…to come home to him.

This probably would have been so much easier if Justin had come along instead of Hollywood with Brent. Brad. Brandon. Whatever it was, his name wasn't important. These images were starting to make him wonder… Was the world really against him? Because, here he was in God knows where, in terrible pain and possibly no where near Pittsburgh, having images of Justin telling him to come home to him when he was all the way on the other side of the country. _That little shit…_

But maybe… Maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was back in Pittsburgh waiting for him. That was good motivation if any. And so, if he was there, then Justin not being with Brian now worked for the better. To know he was waiting, to know he had something to come home to. Besides the excellent blowjobs and the great sex, he really lo… He really lov… He really cared for that blond he met so long ago.

He had to keep that in his mind, he had to use it to keep going, to know if he wasn't just losing his mind. Because if he was going through all this to just go home and be admitted or forced to stay in bed while Justin was still canoodling with the plethora of Hollywood fucks.

Then was it really worth it?

Bike after bike after bike after bike had gone through the finish line, but still no sign of Brian or Michael. Ben and Hunter showed up a while ago, then Emmett and Ted. Slowly, the crowd was starting to disband, heading home after a long wait for their loved ones. But what about those that remained missing?

Justin tugged his sleeves down, trying to keep himself warm. The sky was filling up with dark clouds, meaning snow would be falling at any moment… but hopefully after Michael and Brian made it through.

He had arrived from Hollywood a few hours back, then made his way to the loft from the airport to change and leave his bags before making his way back to Liberty Avenue to meet up with who he was now referring to as his extended family. How funny it was to think back and remember that they started as Brian's extended family, but now they were his, too. He was happy with the way things turned out – from being the blond, underaged twink who was Brian's one night stand number 4739281, to being… Debbie's surrogate son, Michael's artist behind Rage, Melanie and Lindsay's artist and babysitter, Gus's second father really, Emmett and Ted… he wasn't sure what he was to them, and Brian's.. lover? Partner? Boyfriend? Whatever he was, he was a part of their lives. He had squeezed himself in to be an important part of everyone's lives whether they wanted it or not. He couldn't be taken out now, he had gotten in so deep, but it was okay because he knew they no longer minded. Did they ever? Well, besides Michael, that is.

Justin looked over at Debbie, about to speak to her but he cut himself off before he did. She was staring forward, eyes lighting up every time another biker pedaled their way through the finish line, but that light quickly died out when she realized that it wasn't her son nor his best friend.

"They could be lost…" Debbie whispered almost inaudibly, more to comfort herself than anyone else. Justin heard her, however. He smiled softly, shivering as he felt the first few snowflakes fall onto his uncovered skin.

"Brian probably refuses to ask for directions despite Michael's attempts… You're probably right."

Debbie lowered her gaze to catch Justin's, smiling softly. "That son of a bitch is too fuckin' proud, Sunshine. Too fuckin' proud." She agreed, not only because she wanted to – needed to, but also because she cold tell that Justin needed the comfort, too. She could see his fear for Brian in his eyes.

Justin nodded before looking forward again. His heart dropped as he saw people taking down the finish line sign. The remaining crowd consisted of three or so people who left once the sign was down. It was dark, and the snow was coming down fast.

"Brian, where the fuck are you?" Justin pulled his jacket tighter around his body, taking in a deep breath of the cold Pittsburgh air.

"Jesus, Brian. It's fucking snowing.. C'mon, let's take a break, or.."

"_No_, Mikey. We're getting back to the fuckin' Pitts even if it kills me."

"It just might! I can't believe you're doing this... You're going to be stuck in bed for days…"

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Oh, I'm sure Justin will take advantage of this fact, Bri…"

"Maybe Zen Ben will cure you of what ails you, too, Mikey…" Brian grunted through clenched teeth as he tried to pedal faster.

"I'm.. I… That's none of your.." Michael felt his face flush red, but his embarrassment disappeared when he saw the pain in Brian's face. He tried so hard to ignore it, to follow the man's desire to ride back to Pittsburgh, but it was tearing him apart inside. He knew he was hurting. He knew. Then why was he allowing this? "I couldn't. Do what you're doing."

"And what am I doing, Michael?"

"Shut the fuck up, you know goddamn well what you're doing! Biking from Toronto to Pittsburgh while exhausted.. Fucking exhausted! And let's not forget the fucking broken bones!"

"Oh that's right Mikey…" Brian laughed, but his facial expressions didn't match his bleak humor. His eyebrows were furrowed, lips parted, teeth clenched. "I forgot about the broken bones… You know, the ones that would hurt like a motherfucker! I feel like dancing. Maybe I'll do a cartwheel."

"Don't be an ass… Bri… This is crazy." Michael turned his head to the side before looking over at Brian again. "I could never do this."

"I need to do this."

"Because of your cancer?"

"What?" Brian raised an eyebrow, but refused to look in Michael's direction.

"It'd make a little more sense than it does now… Hell, you kicked Justin out because of it. I get that, but haven't you gone through enough? Do you really need to…"

"Don't tell me that," Brian spat. "I just need to do this, okay? So stop the fucking twenty questions."

Michael slowed down as he watched Brian pedal ahead, saw him tense up in pain, heard him cursing. He didn't understand. "Then what is it? Justin? Are you doing this for Justin? To prove to him…"

"I don't need to prove anything to anyone."

Michael stopped completely then, staring forward. He ignored the snow that was landing on Brian and himself, and settling nicely on the road. It clicked with him, at least he think it did. The cancer, Justin… Put two and two together and it was starting to make sense. No one told Brian what to do, no one. There were few exceptions. And when he was told to take it easy, to rest, to stay home… he did the exact opposite, to prove, maybe not to them, but to himself that he could do anything, at any age.

Then there was the Justin factor. Justin brought out sides of Brian that Michael had never seen. What scared him the most was the idea that Justin had snuck in and made Brian love him, fall in love with him, whether Brian knew it or not, whether he'd ever admit it or not.

"Mikey. You wanna stay in Bumblefuck? Hurry up."

"Y-yeah – No! I mean. Coming!" Michael smiled, pushing hard to catch up.

_I'm on to you, Bri_.

Ben held his cell phone to his ear, pacing as he heard to ringing go on with no end. He cursed under his breath and flipped his phone shut, turning around to face the rest. "Still no answer."

Before anyone could reply to Ben's announcement, his phone rang loudly in his pocket. Five pairs of eyes moved over to the tall man as he quickly pulled his phone out, flipped it open and held it against his ear. "Michael?"

Debbie and Justin stared anxiously as Ben spoke, but it didn't sound like he was talking to Michael. The "really? Congratulations! That is amazing" and so on of Ben's side of the conversation didn't add up.

"Ben?"

Ben hung up his cell and looked back to the rest with a smile on his face. "Mel had the baby."

Debbie's smile could have torn her face in half, if only it weren't half filled with concern. "Oh, that's wonderful! I.. I'm a grandmother!"

Justin leaned forward and kissed her cheek, smiling. "Congratulations, Deb."

"Thanks Sunshine…" Debbie's smile shrunk when she saw the look in Justin's eyes, the boy was giving up hope.

"That is wonderful, sweetie, and I'm sure you'll make a fabulous grandmother," said Emmett as he walked over to Debbie, giving her a hug.

"Damn right…" Debbie trailed off as she looked forward into the road again, the snow making visibility very hard. "Michael, where are you?"

The group grew quiet as the minutes went by, pacing, standing, trying their cell phones again, but each method just left them where they were before, with nothing.

Hunter was seated on the edge of the sidewalk, staring at Ben's footprints in the snow. He wasn't as close to Brian, but he owed Michael everything. He was worried, wanted to help but… just what could he do?

He looked up and his eyes went wide, sure that he was seeing things though the making of a white out thanks to the wind and snow. No, he was certain. "Look!"

Everyone's eyes shot up and a hush fell through the small crowd as two figured could be seen coming closer – both on bicycles. One was watching the other, an arm held out to catch if needed, the other slowly pedaling, trembling, but making its way.

Justin felt a tug on his heart seeing Brian like that… Ted and Emmett had explained to him what happened before getting Ben's added details, and he cursed himself for not participating as well. Cursed himself for choosing Hollywood instead. He wanted to be there for support, to help him, but he wasn't. He couldn't blame himself, he had no way of knowing, no one did. So instead he would be a never faltering pillar of support and comfort, whether Brian wanted it or not.

Justin took a step forward, intent on running over to help his lover, but Debbie's voice stopped him.

"No! Let him finish."

Justin looked to her before nodding, she was right. If Brian had done it all this way like that.. he had to let him finish on his own. No matter how much it hurt him to see what he was seeing, he could only imagine what kind of pain Brian was in, and how badly he needed to do this.

Brian stopped short, his foot moving from the pedal to the sidewalk as he groaned in pain, taking deep breaths to try and ease it.

"Brian, Brian, we're almost there! Look! We can still make it."

"Forget it Mikey, it's over. Just forget it. Fuck…"

"Bri…" Michael stopped himself, unsure what to say. He looked up and saw his mother, his husband and their friends standing and waiting. So close. So close…

Brian cursed under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut. He was a masochist. An idiot. Stupid to put himself through all that pain, and for what? He took another deep breath, disagreeing with the cold air but it would have to do, before raising his head slowly; maybe, if there was a foot left, maybe an inch, he'd finish it. He'd hang on. But fuck that, fuck –

Schmidt, Honeycutt, the hustler, the good professor, Debbie… Justin. So he wasn't fully crazy, didn't have to be committed. Justin was home, and only so little feet away.. Did he really come this far to just give up so soon? He saw that look on the blond's face and cursed himself internally. He really did lo…

He pushed himself upward, wincing and cursing as he wearily put his feet back on the pedals, pushing as hard as he could, which wasn't a lot considering how tired he was and how much pain he was in. But he had come so far to give up now. Not when he still had a glimmer of light just ahead.

_You little shit. You knew. This whole fucking time. And you just let me go on my way, saying you loved me and would sing song that I lo.. That I loved you too, that I gave a shit about you. Fucking son of a bitch. I do. I might never say it, but I do._

"Come on, come on," Debbie whispered, her hands clasped together.

Hunter had stood up and stood next to Ben, clapping his hands and screaming out. "You can do it!"

"Almost there, keep going!" Ben added to the calls, as did Ted, Emmett and Justin. They weren't about to let their friends down, not now. Not ever.

_Stupid twat. Just wait until I'm better…_

The pain and torment were worth it. Brian pushed himself to the limit and beyond as he finally made it to the group, almost tumbling off of his bicycle just to be caught by Justin who held him upright.

"You fucking shit…" Justin muttered fondly, kissing the older man's cheek before exhaling deeply. He felt himself shaking, he was so relieved.

"I can do anything, Sunshine. But.. fuck if this doesn't hurt…" Brian chuckled, would've grinned if his body didn't hate him to pieces at the moment.

For them, it was like time stopped again, but this time for the better. Brian was oblivious when Ben passed the news of Melanie's giving birth, all that mattered to him was right in front of him. Always had been, always would be, and damn him for not acknowledging it sooner. Or maybe he had.

"You don't kick me out again. I don't leave you again. We are in this together you stupid fuck. I love you." Justin was smiling softly, lips leaving light kisses along the side of Brian's face, and despite the pain, Brian managed to force a smile.

Michael looked up from his own little world, his world of fatherhood where Ben was kissing him, Debbie hugging him, and the rest were congratulating him. He turned to look at Brian and Justin, saw the small smile on his best friend's face and he couldn't help but smile himself. No matter how much he hated the twink at first… he really did love Brian. And it was obvious Brian loved him back, if you couldn't see it you weren't really looking.

"That's what made him come back," Michael whispered without even realizing he had spoken aloud.

"What's what made him come back, honey?" Debbie asked, smacking her gum loudly. She turned her head to see what it was Michael was looking at, and she smiled. "Every fucker has a heart, Michael. Some see it more than others, some don't see it at all, including the fucker themselves."

"That's what he's got Justin for. Now come on, I'm fucking starving. You guys even said I don't eat enough." Hunter laughed, hopping back on his bike and pedaling in a circle around his family.

Hm. He couldn't be more right.


End file.
